In teenage parenting part 2 we are going to talk about exactly how to create the roles in the family so that your teenager will want to participate in them.

As mentioned in Teenage Parenting: Part 1, families are made up of an accumulation of actions by the parents and the children. What we mean by this is each person in the family has a role to play in the family and when each person plays their role well the family has the best chance of really being great. It’s like a movie. In a movie each player must perform their lines. If one actor doesn’t perform their lines the movie will fall apart. If they perform their lines insincerely, the movie is mediocre. The family is just like this. If the roles are played exceptionally well we get phenomenal results.

So how do we get our family organized so that everyone wants to fulfill their roles? In teenage parenting it all starts with getting the big picture. Picture a big circle. On the circle, equally spread around it are the names of the parents and the kids. Exactly in the center of the circle is written “family”.

Now, draw a line into the center of the circle from each name of the family until the line hits the word “family”. Next, we want to have a list of what the family is defined as. Happiness, love, respect, enjoying being together, safety, and comfort are some of the values of the family you might have. Next we write, by each person’s name what they contribute to the family. Some of the roles can be found in teenage parenting part 1.

When each person sees how they contribute to this great central sphere we call family it doesn’t matter whether you are a teenager or a parent… it gives clarity to what has to take place, what each person has to do to make the family great. It changes the dynamic from the parents against the teen to how the family can work together to make the family whole.

In these times, with teenage parenting it is huge to show the teenager how important it is that the family works together for its survival and its success. The parent can then explain that all disciplines and rewards are based on how the teenager is acting relative to the family’s success.

I have seen countless families go from endless battling to a rebinding of itself through going through this drill. You can too. Teenage parenting doesn’t have to be misery. It can be really incredible. This paradigm is great for blended families as well.

Good luck with your family.

The Problem Solving Expert for Parents and Families

Dr. Robert Bocknek

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Dr. Robert Bocknek is the Problem Solving Expert for Parents and Families. See his website at takebackthehome.com and keyboardculture.com. or write him at Bocknek@takebackthehome.com.

     

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