Ok, so now we have discussed patience and taking responsibility in blended families.

Let’s talk about Leadership in blended families.

Leadership, by parents, is the cornerstone of success in blended families. Leadership means that the parents are going to run the family. It means that the parents are going to get past a lot of past baggage from previous relationships and act like adults.

The rules are not set in stone on how to set up the leadership structure of the family, but one thing that is set in stone is that at least one of the parents, in blended families, must be that leader. The children cannot be the leader. This last sentence may sound absolutely ridiculous to many of you but I can tell you I have counseled many families and blended families where that was the case. Its not that the kids made the rules of the house, but that there weren’t any rules in the house. Because of that, the kids wreaked complete chaos and literally dominated how the house was run. Here are some guidelines on leadership in blended families.

Guide to Leadership in Blended Families

1) One or both parents are the leaders

2) The family should be family centered, not child centered

3) Rules of the house are clearly defined

4) Roles each person plays in the house are clearly defined

5) Chores are given to each child, hopefully with allowances, if budget allows

6) Rewards and discipline are given because of breaking or fulfilling the roles

7) Rewards and discipline are consistent

Parents set the stage for constant expression of love to each other and the kids

9) Love yourself, love your spouse, love your kids

10) Regular family meals

This is a lot to take in. I know. This is why I’m creating “how to” courses on 20 of the most common upsets in the family.

I will let you know when these how to courses are available. I have shared many thoughts on common upsets in the family in my prior blog posts. Be sure to read my previous posts on “roles in the family, teenage parenting and parenting tips”.

Sincerely,

Dr. Bocknek

The Problem Solving Expert for Parents and Families

*******

Dr. Robert Bocknek is the problem solving expert for marriage, parents and families at www.takebackthehome.com and www.keyboard-culture-parenting.com.  He can be reached at bocknek@takebackthehome.com. He is author of the “Take Back the Home course” and the “Learning how to Learn course” which can be seen at www.takebackthehome.com.

     

More on Topics: Blended Families, Family, Family Roles

Tags: Blended Families, Family, Family Roles

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