So what happened this week? As previously discussed, relationships in the blended family or any family, is based on how big the emotional bank account is. The bank account is the accumulation of the perception of trust or enjoyment built up over time. This week I learned that my father wanted to get back in relation with me through my son. How did he know this? His step father told him this. How did the stepfather know this? Supposedly, my father told him? I haven’t spoken with my father for 8 years. Why? Let’s just leave it that my father didn’t understand or care about the emotional bank account.

Here’s an interesting issue in teen parenting. What should be done with this new information? Just so you know I am human, I will tell you my first reaction to this new revelation had nothing to do with my son. I was struggling with what this situation meant to me. I went home and discussed with my wife what took place. As usual, my wife’s take on this, was only revolving around why the step dad told my son rather than me.

I found myself alone in what was important here. To me, I discovered a long time ago that the worst thing that could happen to me and my kids would be to repeat the pattern of what happened between my father and me. To me, family is everything. I have told my kids this, and besides my divorce from their mother, here was me not talking to my father.

What I realized was that I needed to know what this knowledge meant to my son and daughter and how they perceived it and our relationship. Teen parenting in the blended family’s success is determined by coming out on the other side of these issues better than we went into them, so I needed to figure something out.

I share with you my life because I don’t believe my life or my family’s life is our own. I believe we are given a chance to participate in our world. We are not perfect but are supposed to add to our world and not subtract. If my sharing my issues in some way benefits you then I have succeeded.

Please read part 3 of teen parenting in the blended family.

Sincerely,

Dr. Bocknek

The Problem Solving Expert for Parents and Families

*******

Dr. Robert Bocknek is the problem solving expert for marriage, parents and families at www.takebackthehome.com and www.keyboard-culture-parenting.com.  He can be reached at bocknek@takebackthehome.com. He is author of the “Take Back the Home course” and the “Learning how to Learn course” which can be seen at www.takebackthehome.com.

     

More on Topics: Blended Family, Teen Parenting

Tags: Blended Family, Teen Parenting

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