What makes a great marriage? I have been meaning to write this article for some time but have had so much to write about on what makes a good parent, I haven’t had the time.

First point is great marriages don’t just happen. Some couples will say they do, but in fact, they don’t. The beginning place of what makes a great marriage is based on the foundation that the couple is a team. Not a team like modern professional sports where a better offer comes along and you go to that new team, but like the old days where a player spends his whole career with that team. What makes a great marriage is following through and holding up to those vows that you signed a contract to. Sounds easy enough. Right? Yeah, sure.

Let’s talk about what steps make a great marriage for those wanting to be married.

1. Never marry your opposite.

Yes, opposites attract. Here’s why you like your opposite. They are foreign. They do and think differently than you. This is very exciting. What will happen eventually, though, is once you get past that initial , “everything is new and great” stage, you start to experience that you never want to do the same thing. You don’t like the same things. You may not even like the same TV shows or food or thoughts on having children. This is not what makes a great marriage.

2. Marry someone who has similar core values as you do.

What are core values? These are the values that are central to you. For instance, you both believe having children is an important part of marriage, (or not). Working hard or saving money could be a core value. Being independent can be a core value. Be careful with those who still think that independence is their primary core value because they are most likely not ready for marriage.

3. Really enjoy the sex with your partner and them with you.

Do what it takes to make this happen. I’ve said it before, “you can have a bad marriage with great sex but you can’t have a great marriage with bad sex”. This point alone is key to what makes a great marriage.

For those of you who want to be married or are thinking about getting married, let me tell you something. Forever is a long time. So take your time, find out what your core values are, find someone who has similar ones and who you really are attracted to. Its not easy but well worth it.

Sincerely,

Dr. Bocknek

     

More on Topics: Choosing a Mate, Core Values, Marriage, Married, Relationship, Want to Get Married

Tags: Choosing a Mate, Core Values, Marriage, Married, Relationship, Want to Get Married

This entry was posted on Wednesday, August 19th, 2009 at 9:00 am and is filed under the category Dr. Robert Bocknek, Family, Marriage. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.