Parenting and Expectations with Teenagers Part 3
Let’s continue with living with integrity. The last point we discussed was keeping your word and teaching the value of this to your teenager. Let’s look at some other essential points.
2) Acknowledgment.
Have you noticed it’s easy to find fault and comment on it? What doesn’t come as natural is acknowledging a good act. It’s important to acknowledge good behavior in your teenager. What makes a good parent is creating an environment in the home so your teenager is constantly rewarded when they do good things. A key point here is that rewarding doesn’t mean presents. It means saying “thank you, I appreciate that”, and meaning it. Do this often until it becomes a habit. The effect of this is two fold. The first being it creates a positive behavior and atmosphere in the home. The second is that when your teenager is messing up you can comment on it without it seeming for the teenager that all you do is attack them.
3) Be the boss.
If you have read previous articles, you know about the importance of roles in the family. What makes a good parent is realizing teenagers need to be lead. They are moving to adulthood, but not there yet. They are learning how to be an adult. You need to guide them. Create the rules of the house and make sure the rules are followed. Read past articles to see how you can set this up in your home.
Here we are then. Why do you need these expectations for your teenagers? I think it was Napoleon Hill who said “if you want to be poor, watch what poor people do and copy it. If you want to be successful, watch what successful people do and copy them”. You are what you do and who you surround yourself with. What makes a good parent is surrounding your teenager with an environment that makes them feel they are good people and then arm them with tools that helps them present themselves well.
Creating reasonable expectations in your teenager like keeping their word, acknowledging others, doing well in school are all a parent can do for them. Love your teenagers by giving them a good start in life. A good life starts with expectations.
Sincerely,
Dr. Bocknek
The Problem Solving Expert for Parents and Families
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Dr. Robert Bocknek is the problem solving expert for marriage, parents and families at www.takebackthehome.com and www.keyboard-culture-parenting.com. He can be reached at bocknek@takebackthehome.com. He is author of the “Take Back the Home course” and the “Learning how to Learn course” which can be seen at www.takebackthehome.com.





I want to say – thank you for this!