I want to talk about something I have been noticing more and more lately. This is the story of weak parents. When I was a kid, before my parents and my two older sisters and I would go out, my mother would look at us and say, “If you act inappropriately at the restaurant, or store, it will be the last time you come out with us”. Literally, every time we went out as a family she would say pretty much the same thing. She made it clear to us what was acceptable and what wasn’t when we go out in public. What happened? Did that become an inappropriate conversation for parents to have with their kid? One important aspect of what makes a good parent is teaching your kids expectations of what behavior is acceptable.

The reason I bring this up is yesterday I was in the supermarket and two young children, I think a girl and boy, were running down the aisle and knocked down a display. I was looking for the parent to come up and take a hold of her or his kids and have a serious talk with them. What took place was the parent came up to her children, kneeled down, and said, you two need to be more careful, in a warm and fuzzy tone. She then hugged them and they ran off. The mother took a deep breath and looked around and shrugged to the onlookers like myself. I was thinking to myself, “that can’t be it”. It’s not that the mother didn’t love her children, but what makes a good parent is teaching the kids lessons that will empower them to succeed and to be responsible.

So what’s the point here? When I was a physician, and treating patients, sometimes I would get tired of hearing myself saying over and over again the same message about what was the right thing to eat, about exercising regularly, stretching. What makes a good parent is the same thing that makes a good physician. That is, be a leader to your children. The fact that you are tired of saying something doesn’t mean it doesn’t need to be said. You, and your children are what you talk about.

What makes a good parent talking points:

1. Every time before you go out with the kids remind them to behave.

2. Remind them to be respectful of adults

3. Remind them no screaming

4. Remind them minimal running

5. Tell them of the penalty for not doing it

6. Thank them when they have been good.

Good luck.

Dr. Bocknek Dr. Robert Bocknek is the problem solving expert for marriage, parents and families at www.takebackthehome.com and www.keyboard-culture-parenting.com. He can be reached at bocknek@takebackthehome.com. He is author of the “Take Back the Home course” and the “Learning how to Learn course” which can be seen at www.takebackthehome.com.

     

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