Blended families are an amazingly common phenomena in America today. Just the fact that we have a term for a situation where the survivors of two failed marriages coming together speaks volumes in and of itself.

But, this article is not about failed marriages or tragedy. It is about what happens when two people have learned from their mistakes and make a new wonderful loving family. It is about the possibilities that can be a reality. The reality being that humans can rebound and take hurt and loss and make a new beginning. This is about success in blended families.

What does it take to make success in blended families? The first thing that is required is for the two adults to look at whether their core values are in line.

What does this mean?

Core values are the 3 or 4 most important feelings each person hold close to their center. Core values could be happiness, love, trust , integrity, etc.

One might think that every one has the same value system, but this isn’t true. More often than not, women hold Continue reading Success in Blended Families

We have now have seen how we have begun to accept and to a degree expect being lied to by our government. We don’t care that the people who are deciding what steps to take in solving our economic crisis don’t even pay their own taxes. These same people are happy to increase our tax burden. We are saddling our children and grandchildren with unimaginable debt to pay and we are not even interested to see what we are getting for it. Our social problems and education problems have become the same as the other country we mentioned in social problems and education in America 1.

Steps to solving our social problems and education problems: Continue reading Social problems and education in America 3

In “Social Problems and Education in America 1” we saw what happens to the fabric of society, at its belief core, when ethics and integrity are lacking, in another county.
It literally poisons its people to where everything isn’t just accepted…Its expected that cheating, and lying are ok.

But, I thought America was different. I believed, that in my country, ethics and integrity stood for something. I believed that people weren’t so cynical and that the truth mattered. Well, my point is this. The social problems and education problems of that country are at our doorstep and if we don’t change direction soon, we are going to become that country.

I believe that the first obvious sign of this began at the Monika Lewinsky scandal of the Bill Clinton years. It’s the first time I recall that the public was more interested in getting past a major scandal than handling it. When Nixon was caught in Watergate, we all new it was wrong and we were rightly outraged and correctly insisted that he leave. Social problems and education problems were still connected and dealt with. We recognized that we can’t have that kind of behavior because of what it could mean for our country. It was painful but we dealt with it. In closer analysis, though, let’s look at it. With Nixon, he didn’t commit the crime, but he covered it up, and that was enough to remove him. With Clinton, he disgraced the office of the president and then right on camera he lied to the American people, saying “I didn’t have sex with that woman”. I remember, myself, thinking what a slime, but let’s get on with it. I didn’t realize what just took place for America. What took place was, we just lowered the bar for ourselves twelve notches. I believe this event was the genesis of social problems and education problems in America that we see today.

If, at this point, you are thinking this is a political bashing commentary, it only goes to show how far we have fallen. If you are reading this blog and cannot see what I am talking about as a crisis of ethics and not politics, its time to introspect. Moving forward to what is going on in America today. Five of President Obama’s picks for government have either been caught for fraudulent tax evasion or are being followed. America, doesn’t even care for the most part. They want to raise our taxes but don’t pay their own but America doesn’t care. In the new tax stimulus package, the American people were supposed to be able to review it for 48 hours prior to it being signed. They didn’t even let us see it. America didn’t care. We are going into 1.8 trillion dollars of debt and we don’t care enough to see it. What happened to American outrage that was there when Nixon covered up a break in? Its gone. Social problems and education problems of our next generation are just getting started. Immediate action is needed immediately.

See part 3 where Dr. Bocknek starts to talk about solutions.

Dr. Robert Bocknek is the problem solving expert for parents and families. See him at his website, TakeBackthehome.com , or Keyboardculture.com, or email him directly at Bocknek@takebackthehome.com.

Social problems and education… have two areas ever been more linked than today? It seems America is dividing on drastic lines not seen before in my life time. Don’t get me wrong, we have come a long way since the civil rights movement but, in my opinion, if we don’t change course soon the social problems and education problems of today are going to seem like the good old days of tomorrow.

The first point goes to accountability and ethics. For many years I lived in Asia. Although, I loved my experience living there, let me tell you something I observed. The president of that country took government land and built 3 golf courses and proceeded to give them to his wife. The Premiere sold public land in the city to his family and built condos on what used to be a park. He became a billionaire. Everyone knew it and expected it. What kind of social problems and education problems do you think this had on the population? Continue reading Social problems and Education in America

As mentioned before, blended families are diverse and often complicated. Tackling these issues can be difficult but the rewards are huge.

Today we are going to talk about when, in blended families, the stepchild doesn’t accept the stepparent. Before going too far it is really important to handle this issue before the families come together. If in your case it didn’t it is not something that can’t be handled, but it will take a little more work. The adage “when you have lemons, make lemonade” really applies here.

Blended families are usually formed because two adults feel they have found that person who really is “the one”. When people get married the first time, often they were naive and too young to know better. Now, however, hopefully they have learned a thing or two. This can be used to the advantage in blended families.

The first step to success is, Continue reading Help with Blended Families: Part 2