A couple of weeks ago I had a very interesting conversation with a 15 year old that made me think about what makes a good parent. The 15 year old in question was very well mannered, intelligent, and as he said “very stressed out”. I asked him if he is getting bad grades. He said no. I asked him if he is getting into trouble. He said no to this too. So I asked him what’s up. He replied he didn’t know what he was going to do with his life. I thought his comment was amazing so I decided to tell his story to a few parent friends of mine. When I brought this conversation up to them their responses were fascinating. Some asked if he is going to career counseling and others said, “he is only 15 years old”.

My point here is what makes a good parent isn’t always in line with good people with good intentions. Here’s what I mean. I know the boy’s mother. She is doing everything she can to make him successful in her mind. She has great intentions for her son and for the most part she is doing a great job with him, but he is really stressed out about his future and is only 15 years old.

For you parents reading this story, let me give you some advice. What makes a good parent is leadership.

Leadership for a 15 year old should entail the following: Continue reading Reasonable Expectations for Our Teens

Being a parent, otherwise known as how to bankrupt a person one college at a time, has truly been one of the most satisfying experiences of my life. Being the father of 4 in a blended family, I thought I would share some thought on, in my view, what makes a good parent.

What makes a good parent starts with realizing you don’t know everything and then conveying this idea to your kids. Once you’ve had this epiphany, the doors are open for you to talk to your kids in a way that really is fun and enriching. Why I say this is an epiphany is because relationships are based on connection.

Connection is based on Continue reading Getting the Most Out of Parenting

In the last article on “Patience and Leadership in Blended Families” we talked about the need for patience in bringing two families together to become a blended family.

Before we can move on to leadership in blended families, we need to talk about a sensitive area. That being, “What didn’t we do so great in our first marriage”. The worst thing we can do, I believe, when attempting to start a new family, is not look at how we can improve our skill levels as parents prior  to the commencement of it.

Let’s get it out in the open. No matter how much we want to blame the “ex”, ask the question, “Does it help me or my new family any bit to blame the ex”? Of course, it doesn’t! All we can do is keep improving ourselves. Understand, for what ever reason you are starting new blended families, (I say families because we are all in this together), you are taking a bold and risky step. I did it myself. So, I know.

How are you going to prepare yourself to be a better spouse and parent in new blended families?

I like quotes, so I’m going to give you one here. Continue reading Patience and Leadership in Blended Families: Part 2