In this section of “What makes a good parent, action and patience” we will talk about how to achieve a good relationship between parents and children. As I was being interviewed for a national parenting magazine yesterday our conversation moved to what it takes to achieve the good relationship. If I had one point to mention above all others, it would be for the parent to be consistent. Not that your children are animals but let’s think of raising your children in simple terms like training a puppy.

On some levels what makes a good parent is the same as being a good dog trainer. If your puppy chews on your furniture and one time you punish him and the next time you don’t the puppy becomes confused whether chewing on the furniture is acceptable or not. It’s the same with your kids. With a consistent response to your child’s behavior you have the best chance of having a strong relationship with them.

How does this consistency translate into a good relationship? This is the essence of what makes a good parent. Here are some important points: Continue reading What Makes a Good Parent… Action and Patience Part 2

In part 1 of “getting the most out of parenting”, we talked about what makes a good parent by starting with admitting you don’t know everything. In this edition we will talk about sharing with your kids, “you”. Have you ever been with someone, who you thought you wanted to be friends with and it just seemed to go no where? Why did it happen? Usually it was because you or they didn’t share your, or their, self enough to satisfy each other for the relationship to grow. These same dynamics play out the same with you and your kids.

One of the important things, then, that goes into what makes a good parent is knowing how much of you to share.

Here are some important guidelines. Continue reading Getting the Most Out of Parenting: Part 2

In this final installment of “what makes a good parent”, we’ll discuss how to maintain leadership, with your kids, when you don’t have all the answers.

What we have accomplished so far is moved you from not knowing that you didn’t know something to realizing that you didn’t know something. As we discussed in “what makes a good parent 1″, this is the way to remove conflicts and solve problems. So now we are in a position to solve the “how to be a good parent issue”, in regards to leadership.

By exposing to your kids, your humanness, or imperfections, they may take this opportunity to get their way. After all they haven’t seen you admit mistakes before. So at this point you can disarm your kids by saying that Continue reading What Makes a Good Parent: Part 3

Continuing on with what makes a good parent, let’s take a look at when you don’t have the answer for your child.

As mentioned in “what makes a good parent 1″, remember, you don’t have to be perfect. With that point in mind, think of life in terms that life is not about getting to the finish line. It is about the path that you take to get to the finish line. In other words, think of the finish line as being 6 ft. under and the path as all the joy and excitement you experience in life. You won’t be in such a rush then to get to the finish line.

In the case that you don’t have the answer with your kids…where’s the win, how do help your kids? Continue reading What Makes a Good Parent: Part 2

Why am I adding political issues into teen parenting? I am doing it because I still believe in the U.S. I fear that people are walking around with blinders on. We are seeing a huge rise in drop outs, teen pregnancy and now unemployment. Furthermore, we are adopting European’s failing model of Government taking care of our problems and taking care of us.

What made the U.S. great wasn’t the government. It was the pioneering innovative spirit of our country, our people. It was our ethnic diversity that lead to new ways of thinking. We, as families, Continue reading Teen Parenting and Critical Thinking: Part 3

Today, we will discuss one very important reason why students are getting bad grades.

Today’s subject is about the dummying of America. With the advent of the internet, and all that increase to information that we never had as kids, one would think our kids would be doing better in school. What I have found, however, in my experience and research, is that parents who greatly limit what the kids are accessing on the internet, is often the difference between students getting bad grades or not.

What I mean about the dummying of America is that our kids now can get simplistic answers to complex questions with the flick of a button. Rather than having to analyze data, they can get opinions at will. Why students are getting bad grades is because many have no patience to do the hard work it takes to form opinions.

Some solutions to why are students getting bad grades begins with parents…

a) insisting their kids have time set aside for reading everyday. This makes the child visualize written words and use their imagination,

b) limiting their time on the computer to completing school work,

c) limiting their time on tvs to educational programs,

d) taking them to museums and art galleries that have docents.

In closing, the key to why are students getting bad grades is the expectation of instant gratification rather than using their brains. Not all learning is easy, but what in life that is worth having has ever come easy?

Sincerely,

Dr. Bocknek

The Problem Solving Expert for Parents and Families

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Dr. Robert Bocknek is the problem solving expert for marriage, parents and families at www.takebackthehome.com and www.keyboard-culture-parenting.com.  He can be reached at bocknek@takebackthehome.com. He is author of the “Take Back the Home course” and the “Learning how to Learn course” which can be seen at www.takebackthehome.com.

This blog will be a little more practical than the two previous ones. If you are having problems getting your kids to do their chores or want to give your kids chores and don’t know how to, this is for you. Parenting tips and chores.

Why should your kids have chores?

Can you answer this question that will make sense to your kids and get them to do them?

If you can’t answer the question you just figured out the first problem. If you can answer the question and your kids aren’t doing their chores then you haven’t explained it to them properly.

Parenting Tip #1 Continue reading Parenting Tips and Chores

I like to read a lot of online periodicals to get a feel what parents and other adults are thinking and talking about. There is a lot of good stuff being written in regard to marriage and families. Even when I don’t agree with some premises, I often get some interesting ideas to write about. I want to talk about parenting tips for judgments of others.

Whether you are religious or not, you most likely consider yourself someone who is ethical and moral. This is good. It means you have taken some time to realize you want to be a good person. Maybe the most important thing we can impart to our kids is a desire to be a good person. The first of the parenting tips is this: Continue reading Parenting Tips and Judgement

Here are my parenting tips on this subject of how a child, adolescent or young adult should address an adult. I believe children should always address adults as Mr., Mrs., or Miss. The reason being that respect for the older generation is critical in society.

From the beginning of childhood it is important in society to create a sense of continuity. A simple way for a child to begin this process is to address adults properly. It is the most basic side of acknowledgement. Think, what if we didn’t call our Generals, general or captains, captain or coaches, coach.

These parenting tips are aimed at regaining dignity is society. Adults, even ones who have not been that successful in life, deserve a chance to be addressed with respect. In many ways being addressed correctly Continue reading Parenting Tips and Addressing Adults

First of all, we have all experienced yelling in our homes. That being said, clearly yelling is one of the most ineffective ways for a parent to get their point across and should be avoided at all costs. For today’s parenting tips, lets talk about the three most important issues here,

1) Why does yelling occur?

2) What harmful effects come from it?

3) What are the alternatives?

Parenting Tip 1

Yelling occurs from two paths. The first being it is a trained behavior that different cultures use and it was how the parent’s parents dealt with issues. The second being, and the more important one I believe, is when the parent loses their composure due one of many reasons.

Parenting Tip 2

The harmful effects to children, Continue reading Parenting Tips and Yelling