We have been going off on a rant today. Sometimes, however, it’s important to shake up parents so you can see the big picture. We are entering a time of extreme polarity in our country. One of the things that goes into what makes a good parent is to focus on what really benefits your family. The education of your children needs to one of the highest priorities. This might seem like an obvious statement but the action step to achieve a level of competence in school isn’t as easy as you might think.

What makes a good parent now means you must set goals for you child to achieve in school. Just as society is polarizing so is the success rate in school. In school, we are seeing a skyrocketing dropout rate and pregnancy on the one end and intense achievement on the other. You, as a parent, are going to have to decide which way your student will go. How are you going to achieve excellence with your child?

What makes a good parent is to learn strategies on how to make sure your child achieves.

Steps to your child’s success in elementary school:

1. Your child should read with you and by themselves everyday.

2. Television should be limited to the weekend

3. Video games should be eliminated or at least limited to the weekend.

4. You should be talking with your child’s teacher what they recommend for speeding up their math achievements.

5. Apply those strategies regularly.

Steps to your child’s middle and high school success:

1. GPA, minimum 3.25, recommended is 3.5 or higher if going to college

2. Regular contact with your child’s teacher and guidance counselor to monitor how they are doing so problems don’t get too far along.

3. Take SAT multiple times.

4. Volunteering at different places, minimum 100 hours.

If you haven’t been watching the news, college tuitions will be going up regularly for now on because of the skyrocketing government debt. So if you want scholarship or grant money your child will have to be in the top 10% of their class. What makes a good parent is not talking about being a good leader to your children. It is living it.

Good luck,

Dr. Bocknek

Dr. Robert Bocknek is the problem solving expert for marriage, parents and families at www.takebackthehome.com and www.keyboard-culture-parenting.com. He can be reached at bocknek@takebackthehome.com. He is author of the “Take Back the Home course” and the “Learning how to Learn course” which can be seen at www.takebackthehome.com.

What makes a good parent is preparing for this inevitable time by setting up ground rules. The first thing for you to think about, as a parent, is having rules about what kind of things have to take place for the teen to earn the right to have more independence. Yes, I just said that going out is a privilege and not a right. It is critical, as a parent, that this rule is not negotiable. I can to tell you from experience that if you don’t want to spend long hours worrying about them or not worrying and getting that phone call that you don’t want to get, take control.

Now, let’s talk about what some of those rules ought to be in order to get those privileges.

The “What makes a good parent” rules:

• The teen needs to exhibit a responsible demeanor that justifies new privileges

• The teen needs to being doing well in school

• The teen needs to respond to a parent in a way that the parent can be comfortable when the teen is away

Responsible demeanor means your teen recognizes that you are the boss and not them. It means that they have a responsibility to act with dignity out in the world and not like a thug. Teens are a work in progress. They learn by watching their friends or by other teens they want to be friends with. Without teaching your teens about their responsibilities, they will be quite susceptible to those other teens. What makes a good parent is teaching them constantly what a good demeanor is and rewarding them for displaying good judgment with more privileges and taking away privileges for bad judgment.

Now, we are going to discuss good grades. You can’t get around it, parents. A huge part of what makes a good parent is helping your teen achieve in life. Socializing is an important part of growth in teenagers. No one is arguing that. But be a leader with your teen. If they aren’t doing well in school, they aren’t going to do better with more socializing. It is critical that your teen associates privileges with doing well in school. If you have bought into the idea that grades don’t really matter, I have 3 words for you… “get over it”. If your teen is not doing well in school, they shouldn’t be going out, period, until they improve.

Please read part 3.

Sincerely,

Dr. Bocknek

The Problem Solving Expert for Parents and Families

*******

Dr. Robert Bocknek is the problem solving expert for marriage, parents and families at www.takebackthehome.com and www.keyboard-culture-parenting.com.  He can be reached at bocknek@takebackthehome.com. He is author of the “Take Back the Home course” and the “Learning how to Learn course” which can be seen at www.takebackthehome.com.

John Kennedy said, “Ask not what your country can do for you. Ask what you can do for your country”. It was probably one of the best lines any leader has ever said to their fellow countrymen. It was meant as a catalyst for action to do what has always made America great. It meant you are your country so do something for it. Barak Obama had some of the same message for our kids. Stay in school. Do your best. Achieve. But I don’t agree with everything he said nor with some of his tactics, specifically asking children to help him pass his reforms an bills. I believe in what we can do for our country, but let kids be kids.

Last week the president was going to address the children and teens of America. On the whole, I think it is a great idea to have the leaders of this country speak to our youth. I personally feel there is too much of a disconnect between Americans and between Americans and their country. Like another young president, John Kennedy, Barak Obama has a chance to move the young of America. What makes a good parent in the home is leadership. What makes a good parent of the country is leadership.

Sincerely,

Dr. Bocknek

The Problem Solving Expert for Parents and Families

*******

Dr. Robert Bocknek is the problem solving expert for marriage, parents and families at www.takebackthehome.com and www.keyboard-culture-parenting.com.  He can be reached at bocknek@takebackthehome.com. He is author of the “Take Back the Home course” and the “Learning how to Learn course” which can be seen at www.takebackthehome.com.

Ask all the prevalent questions. Have a meeting with the teacher without the student and maybe afterwards, with the your child. Stand firm. Let the child or teen know all the facts you have found out and help them form a strategy for success in the class.  Let them know you will be monitoring them so that the strategy will be implemented. Regularly, let them know that this kind of strategy is what they will need to do in their life to increase the odds that they will be successful and that’s why they need to do it.

Let’s now talk about standing firm.

You may be thinking, “Dr. Bocknek hasn’t said anything about how or when to stand firm.”

You are right!

But you can’t solve two problems if you can’t even solve one. This means you have to have a strategy for success for your kids first before you can help them work through their mistakes. So far we have been talking about how to implement a successful strategy. What makes a good parent is recognizing that no strategy always works and no one always follows the strategy.

Parents, you do no service to your children by not having them take personal responsibility for their outcomes. This doesn’t mean throwing your children in jail. It does mean you can’t keep protecting them when they don’t do the right thing.

Standing firm with your children is about helping them to be a success in life. What makes a good parent is having an honest relationship with your children, where they know that they are expected to do the right thing and when they don’t that there is a penalty. Having children is a responsibility to yourself, your family and your country. Stand firm with your kids. You will be happy you did.

Sincerely,

Dr. Bocknek

The Problem Solving Expert for Parents and Families

*******

Dr. Robert Bocknek is the problem solving expert for marriage, parents and families at www.takebackthehome.com and www.keyboard-culture-parenting.com.  He can be reached at bocknek@takebackthehome.com. He is author of the “Take Back the Home course” and the “Learning how to Learn course” which can be seen at www.takebackthehome.com.

2) Acknowledgment.

Have you noticed it’s easy to find fault and comment on it? What doesn’t come as natural is acknowledging a good act. It’s important to acknowledge good behavior in your teenager. What makes a good parent is creating an environment in the home so your teenager is constantly rewarded when they do good things. A key point here is that rewarding doesn’t mean presents. It means saying “thank you, I appreciate that”, and meaning it. Do this often until it becomes a habit. The effect of this is two fold. The first being it creates a positive behavior and atmosphere in the home. The second is that when your teenager is messing up you can comment on it without it seeming for the teenager that all you do is attack them.

3) Be the boss.

If you have read previous articles, you know about the importance of roles in the family. What makes a good parent is realizing teenagers need to be lead. They are moving to adulthood, but not there yet. They are learning how to be an adult. You need to guide them.  Create the rules of the house and make sure the rules are followed. Read past articles to see how you can set this up in your home.

Here we are then. Why do you need these expectations for your teenagers? I think it was Napoleon Hill who said “if you want to be poor, watch what poor people do and copy it. If you want to be successful, watch what successful people do and copy them”. You are what you do and who you surround yourself with. What makes a good parent is surrounding your teenager with an environment that makes them feel they are good people and then arm them with tools that helps them present themselves well.

Creating reasonable expectations in your teenager like keeping their word, acknowledging others, doing well in school are all a parent can do for them. Love your teenagers by giving them a good start in life. A good life starts with expectations.

Sincerely,

Dr. Bocknek

The Problem Solving Expert for Parents and Families

*******

Dr. Robert Bocknek is the problem solving expert for marriage, parents and families at www.takebackthehome.com and www.keyboard-culture-parenting.com.  He can be reached at bocknek@takebackthehome.com. He is author of the “Take Back the Home course” and the “Learning how to Learn course” which can be seen at www.takebackthehome.com.

Since you are reading this article you probably are a parent and you have already experienced and learned many lessons about adulthood. My question to you then, is do you want your teenagers to suffer through the same mistakes you went through on your way to adulthood, or, are you out to help them navigate through the waters?

What makes a good parent is finding ways to bring your teenager to adulthood as painlessly as possible. In part 1, we talked about doing well in school and using GPA as a measuring stick. Now let’s talk about living life with integrity.

Living life with integrity is easy to say, harder to do. Don’t you agree? Teaching it to your teenager is yet even harder. What makes a good parent is bringing the living by integrity lifestyle into the home. Here are some basic points to follow:

1) Keeping your word.

Following through with what you say you are going to do and teaching the value of this concept to your teenagers is one of the best gifts you could ever give to your teenager. The ease with which people will say anything with no follow through is a real virus in society today. Look no further than our present economic and political environment.

Berney Madoff cheated rabbinical schools of money for 10 years. These schools are the primary religious training facilities in the Jewish faith. Even more disgusting is that behind this, the government regulating boards, which were notified no less than 28 times of his scam, over a 10 year period, did nothing and no one seemed to care.

What makes a good parent is living by your word so when your teenager doesn’t follow through with chores, school or even being on time you can lead them by example. It’s important when they are keeping their word that you acknowledge them for doing so.

Living with integrity is one of the most important gifts you can give to yourself and your teenager.

Please read the continuing portion of this article in Part 3.

Sincerely,

Dr. Bocknek

The Problem Solving Expert for Parents and Families

*******

Dr. Robert Bocknek is the problem solving expert for marriage, parents and families at www.takebackthehome.com and www.keyboard-culture-parenting.com.  He can be reached at bocknek@takebackthehome.com. He is author of the “Take Back the Home course” and the “Learning how to Learn course” which can be seen at www.takebackthehome.com.

What makes a good parent is being able to come up with a plan for your teenager, implementing it and then, when things don’t go according to plan, being able to alter the plan to keep your teen moving in a good direction.

Where do you begin when coming up with a plan?

What makes a good parent requires, you as the parent, stepping back from your own busy schedule and taking the time to give quality energy into thinking about what you want for your teenagers. This doesn’t mean general terms like, “you want them to be happy, you want them to be successful or you want them to be good people”.

If you have taken the time to read my previous posts you will know that I have written extensively on these core principles before. Let’s leave it to say, for this article, that your teenager being happy, successful and a good person are the building blocks of true success in life, but here I want to be more specific.

Let’s spend a little time with some concrete action steps and ideas for implementing what makes a good parent. We will be keeping our discussion today to addressing teenagers in high school or college.

1) Grade point average. Like it or not GPA is a critical measuring stick of how your teenager is doing. For those of you reading this and thinking GPA doesn’t matter, I highly encourage you to look inside and recognize the err of your thought process. You most likely are falling into one of two categories,

a) You are being defensive because your teenager isn’t doing well, or

b) you are one of those people stuck in the sixties progressive (actually regressive) mindsets that competition is bad.

The facts are that colleges look at GPA when your teen is applying for school, when they are in school and when they are applying for grad school. If time is an issue for you as a parent then you should know GPA is probably the easiest way for a parent to judge how their teenager is standing up relative to other teenagers and to how your parenting style is working.

So what you want to do is sit down with your teenager and let them know what your expectations are in regards to GPA, (I highly recommend 3.5 because scholarships and grants often use that number as the minimum requirement). Then you let your teenager know that attaining that GPA is going to be the centerpiece of what they think about.

Teenagers need to understand that doing well in school is their job. You take your job seriously and they need to take their job seriously. Creating this mindset will go a long way for them to create success in their life.

Please read part 2 of Parenting and expectations with teenagers.

Sincerely,

Dr. Bocknek

The Problem Solving Expert for Parents and Families

*******

Dr. Robert Bocknek is the problem solving expert for marriage, parents and families at www.takebackthehome.com and www.keyboard-culture-parenting.com.  He can be reached at bocknek@takebackthehome.com. He is author of the “Take Back the Home course” and the “Learning how to Learn course” which can be seen at www.takebackthehome.com.

My point here is what makes a good parent isn’t always in line with good people with good intentions. Here’s what I mean. I know the boy’s mother. She is doing everything she can to make him successful in her mind. She has great intentions for her son and for the most part she is doing a great job with him, but he is really stressed out about his future and is only 15 years old.

For you parents reading this story, let me give you some advice. What makes a good parent is leadership.

Leadership for a 15 year old should entail the following:

• He or she should do well in school

• He or she should be respectful, polite and basically a good person

• He or she should have chores in the house to facilitate responsibility

• He or she should have limited time on the internet and video games

• He or she should be out enough during free time to learn social skills

• He or she should be doing volunteer work, (important for college)

• He or she be encouraged to participate in fun stuff

• He or she should have down time to do whatever they want

Our teens need to work hard and be good people but they are just coming off childhood. What makes a good parent is part keeping a watchful eye on them, part pushing them and part allowing them the space to learn from their own experiences. This third part is critical.

We need to remember our kid’s happiness is at the heart of their success. Fifteen year olds should not be thinking or worried about their future. If they know what they want to do at that age, well, you are just lucky.

So please for your teens sake, remember to tell them how proud you are of them, how much you love them and cut them some slack if they are doing great.

Sincerely,

Dr. Bocknek

The Problem Solving Expert for Parents and Families

*******

Dr. Robert Bocknek is the problem solving expert for marriage, parents and families at www.takebackthehome.com and www.keyboard-culture-parenting.com.  He can be reached at bocknek@takebackthehome.com. He is author of the “Take Back the Home course” and the “Learning how to Learn course” which can be seen at www.takebackthehome.com.

What makes a good parent, and by proxy a good leader, is to take a stance for your kids. Be a place that they can draw from for stability, safety and love. That being said, a crucial part of what makes a good parent is letting them know you are human. What this means is you will make mistakes with them and in your own life. It is important that you know that and that they know that. Furthermore, it is important that they know you know that.

What is important about the last statement?

Werner Earhardt, from the old EST and Forum days, used to talk about in order to learn you have to realize that you don’t know something. Then you can go and study it. He went further to talk about most problems and misunderstanding happen when you don’t know that you don’t know something.

In regards to what makes a good parent, if your kids think that you don’t know when you are right or wrong, you probably won’t know when they are right or wrong either. They will then sometimes come to the conclusion that you don’t understand them and hence not be willing to listen to you. The point, then, is to be honest not just with them but with yourself about when you don’t know the answer.

In part two of what makes a good parent we will talk about how to deal with your kids when you don’t have the answer.

Sincerely,

Dr. Bocknek

The Problem Solving Expert for Parents and Families

*******

Dr. Robert Bocknek is the problem solving expert for marriage, parents and families at www.takebackthehome.com and www.keyboard-culture-parenting.com.  He can be reached at bocknek@takebackthehome.com. He is author of the “Take Back the Home course” and the “Learning how to Learn course” which can be seen at www.takebackthehome.com.

What made the U.S. great wasn’t the government. It was the pioneering innovative spirit of our country, our people. It was our ethnic diversity that lead to new ways of thinking. We, as families, drove our kids to think and create. Parents used to sacrifice, so the next generation would have more. A big part of teen parenting was this mentality. We are now well into the age of the disintegrating family and reaping the rewards. Countless teens are being raised without a father.

All we hear is how our education system is failing us, our government isn’t doing enough. We have to regain our self dignity. Until the day has returned when we look in the mirror and accept where we are is because what we do, ourselves, we truly are lost.

I hope when you finish reading this blog on teen parenting, you go hug your kids and your spouse, tell them you love them, and remember to teach them to think.

Sincerely,

Dr. Bocknek

The Problem Solving Expert for Parents and Families

*******

Dr. Robert Bocknek is the problem solving expert for marriage, parents and families at www.takebackthehome.com and www.keyboard-culture-parenting.com.  He can be reached at bocknek@takebackthehome.com. He is author of the “Take Back the Home course” and the “Learning how to Learn course” which can be seen at www.takebackthehome.com.

When you embark in critical thinking conclusions reached may be the opposite of previous positions you have taken before. Why would your position change? Because new facts and compelling arguments become apparent that makes it very difficult to keep the previous notion. I’m afraid we are in the time of the dumbing up of America. Life has become so busy that true thinking is taking a back seat to letting others think for us.

To make this a balanced article on teen parenting, let me sight some examples on both sides of the political spectrum. On the right, we have turned the pro life ideology from being a strong belief to annihilating any candidate who won’t quote the bible and condemn, as a murderer, anyone who disagrees with them. On the left, the president and congress espouse how they are going to cut the deficit in half, forgetting to mention that the halving is of the quadrupling of the budget. Even that can only be achieved, though, by people spending money, which they can’t, because of higher taxes and unemployment.

People argue these points, now, like they are espousing facts. I would argue that the only thing holding these people back is facts. Why use critical thinking when repeating politically correct statements are so easy.

For you reading this article, stop this crushing stupidity in your homes and get back to basics. When teen parenting, first remember, you as a parent have a job to teach.

What you need to teach your kids is:

• To carry themselves with respect, dignity and ethics in the family and out in the real world.

• To read, rather than watch TV, videogames or YOUTUBE

• To enjoy learning new things

• Their job is to do well in school and help the family

• They should not just believe what they hear, but take the time and study, evaluate, ask questions and see what is known so they can reach good conclusions

• You love them to death

Please read teen parenting and critical thinking part 3.

Sincerely,

Dr. Bocknek

The Problem Solving Expert for Parents and Families

*******

Dr. Robert Bocknek is the problem solving expert for marriage, parents and families at www.takebackthehome.com and www.keyboard-culture-parenting.com.  He can be reached at bocknek@takebackthehome.com. He is author of the “Take Back the Home course” and the “Learning how to Learn course” which can be seen at www.takebackthehome.com.

I was reading earlier in the day, Attorney General Eric Holder pardoned those men, who were carrying sticks outside the polling booths in Philadelphia during the elections, threatening people to vote for Obama and were caught on tape saying “this is the end for all you crackers”. These men were already arraigned and didn’t show up for court. All the justice department had to do was sentence them. AG Holder, however, pardoned them. It was the first time on record something like this has ever been done by the AGs office.

I questioned one of the guys in the coffee shop if he thought Pres. Obama was doing a great job. He, of course, said yes. I told him about the above news. He said he hadn’t heard. I asked him if it was true what happened would that make him question his faith in the president. He said, he really doesn’t care about that, and then remarked “Look at what Bush did”. I couldn’t leave it alone, at this point, so I asked him “Are facts not important to you when deciding whether you believe the president is doing well”? He responded that he didn’t have to listen to that crap.

Teen parenting and critical thinking is the subject of this blog. As our country is going through, what I think, is a crisis of the heart and mind, I want to share some important insights that can greatly affect whether your teen parenting journey leads to success or failure.

Henry Ford once wrote, “Thinking is the hardest thing man can do. That’s why so few people take part in it”. I think these words have never been more relevant than they are today. In your teen parenting journey, you will find that you only have so many things to offer your teens and not a lot of time to do it.

Besides creating a loving nurturing environment that is driven by ethics, integrity and compassion, teaching them to use their brains to think critically may be the most important gift a parent can give their children.

Please read teen parenting and critical thinking part 2 for some suggestions.

Sincerely,

Dr. Bocknek

The Problem Solving Expert for Parents and Families

*******

Dr. Robert Bocknek is the problem solving expert for marriage, parents and families at www.takebackthehome.com and www.keyboard-culture-parenting.com.  He can be reached at bocknek@takebackthehome.com. He is author of the “Take Back the Home course” and the “Learning how to Learn course” which can be seen at www.takebackthehome.com.

Teen parenting and toddler parenting is about creating a safe and empowering environment. In pre-internet times, it was far more reasonable to let your kids out and let them test the waters. Back then, the limit of their exposure to adult issues was determined by how far they could get on their bike or later in their car. In those times, they would come in contact with other kids who had the same limited exposure. They would test and try things but very quickly they had to be home and parents could look for change in behavior. If the change was creating negative behavior in or out of the house the parent could limit their free time. Teen parenting, now, is a different animal.

Teens, now, can be in their own home and doing things that are completely inappropriate. Getting back to the sexting conversation, first of all it is illegal. Second, it is a sad commentary on society. I will express two instances in teen parenting that should put any of you doubters to this problem in your place.

I was recently visiting a long term friend of mine who never had children and is a college professor, here in the U.S. I always knew he liked photography and he like nude portraits. I, honestly, have no problem with that. He is an adult and the photography is legal. I was looking through some of his photography books and came upon a book by an author who filled the book with a family that was taking nude shots together. I asked him what’s up with that book? He didn’t think anything was wrong with it. He went on to mention how the author had been harassed by the authorities several times and had many law suits filed against him. He went on to mention how the suits went on for years only to have a judge finally throw out all the law suits for some reason.

Please read part 2 of teen parenting and what is okay.

Sincerely,

Dr. Bocknek

The Problem Solving Expert for Parents and Families

*******

Dr. Robert Bocknek is the problem solving expert for marriage, parents and families at www.takebackthehome.com and www.keyboard-culture-parenting.com.  He can be reached at bocknek@takebackthehome.com. He is author of the “Take Back the Home course” and the “Learning how to Learn course” which can be seen at www.takebackthehome.com.

In addition to our mistakes they see us in situations they often don’t fully understand. They don’t fully understand them because we don’t fully understand them either. One thing I do fully understand is that if my actions don’t reflect what my talk is then my value as a leader is diminished.

The art of teen parenting, is figuring out what to tell about our issues to our teens so it empowers them not to make the same mistakes we have made. In blended families, it is extra complicated because there are 4 parents often. When discussing personal family issues with your teens you need to share some of your weaknesses and then share with them some of the conclusions you have come to.

It is important to be strong because you need to be able to realize that some of your conclusions may not be right and to tell your teens that. The next step is to hear what they have to say about how they feel or whether they care. After this, let them know that this is what being an adult is all about and that their success in life will be related to how they deal with similar issues.

In closing, in teen parenting in or out of the blended family, make sure to let them know, that no matter what, you love them to death and you will always be there for them.

Sincerely,

Dr. Bocknek

The Problem Solving Expert for Parents and Families

*******

Dr. Robert Bocknek is the problem solving expert for marriage, parents and families at www.takebackthehome.com and www.keyboard-culture-parenting.com.  He can be reached at bocknek@takebackthehome.com. He is author of the “Take Back the Home course” and the “Learning how to Learn course” which can be seen at www.takebackthehome.com.

Here’s an interesting issue in teen parenting. What should be done with this new information? Just so you know I am human, I will tell you my first reaction to this new revelation had nothing to do with my son. I was struggling with what this situation meant to me. I went home and discussed with my wife what took place. As usual, my wife’s take on this, was only revolving around why the step dad told my son rather than me.

I found myself alone in what was important here. To me, I discovered a long time ago that the worst thing that could happen to me and my kids would be to repeat the pattern of what happened between my father and me. To me, family is everything. I have told my kids this, and besides my divorce from their mother, here was me not talking to my father.

What I realized was that I needed to know what this knowledge meant to my son and daughter and how they perceived it and our relationship. Teen parenting in the blended family’s success is determined by coming out on the other side of these issues better than we went into them, so I needed to figure something out.

I share with you my life because I don’t believe my life or my family’s life is our own. I believe we are given a chance to participate in our world. We are not perfect but are supposed to add to our world and not subtract. If my sharing my issues in some way benefits you then I have succeeded.

Please read part 3 of teen parenting in the blended family.

Sincerely,

Dr. Bocknek

The Problem Solving Expert for Parents and Families

*******

Dr. Robert Bocknek is the problem solving expert for marriage, parents and families at www.takebackthehome.com and www.keyboard-culture-parenting.com.  He can be reached at bocknek@takebackthehome.com. He is author of the “Take Back the Home course” and the “Learning how to Learn course” which can be seen at www.takebackthehome.com.

The first thing I have discovered, on this new journey, is the complexity of reintegrating myself into their regular life. Some of it is great and some of it is also great. Now I get calls at any time of the day to see if I can pick my son up. Very important point about teen parenting and blended families is to cherish any time with your children, even if it is just picking them up. Any opportunity you have with them is gold. Make the most of it. Engage them in questions about their life, your life, life in general. Joke with them. Encourage them to get used to conversing with you about anything. You need to understand teen parenting is a very short time frame relative to the whole life you will have with them. You will know your kids for a very long time. It is the moments of conversation that adds to what Stephen Covey called your emotional bank account with them.

For those of you who haven’t heard of the emotional bank account, I will explain it briefly because it is a brilliant concept that helps you understand teen parenting in your blended family.

It works this way. If you have a good conversation or a good time with any relation in your family, it is like making a deposit in their emotional bank account. If you have a bad time because you misbehaved or were even perceived to misbehave they will make a withdrawal.

You will find that your relationship with your spouse or kids, in teen parenting in or out of a blended family, is equal to their perception to how many emotional deposits and withdrawals you have made. What is important to understand about this dynamic is that people often withdraw huge sums for small negative things and register very small deposits for positive things. In other words, people often remember negative things done to them more than the positive things. The message, then, is spend as much time as you can with your teens, and during those times make it as positive an experience as possible. The future of your relationship with them depends on your bank account.

Please read the second part.

Sincerely,

Dr. Bocknek

The Problem Solving Expert for Parents and Families

*******

Dr. Robert Bocknek is the problem solving expert for marriage, parents and families at www.takebackthehome.com and www.keyboard-culture-parenting.com.  He can be reached at bocknek@takebackthehome.com. He is author of the “Take Back the Home course” and the “Learning how to Learn course” which can be seen at www.takebackthehome.com.