Critical thinking is the willingness to read, watch, be open and analyze all the data you take in and come to a conclusion. A big part of teen parenting, today, probably more than ever before, is teaching your kids to take part in it.

When you embark in critical thinking conclusions reached may be the opposite of previous positions you have taken before. Why would your position change? Because new facts and compelling arguments become apparent that makes it very difficult to keep the previous notion. I’m afraid we are in the time of the dumbing up of America. Life has become so busy that true thinking is taking a back seat to letting others think for us.

To make this a balanced article on teen parenting, let me sight some examples on both sides of the political spectrum. On the right, we have turned the pro life ideology from being a strong belief to annihilating any candidate who won’t quote the bible and condemn, as a murderer, anyone who disagrees with them. On the left, Continue reading Teen Parenting and Critical Thinking Part 2

Yesterday, I was sitting in my favorite coffee shop, listening to the political dialoging that was going on. Usually, I just listen. But yesterday, I was thinking about what I wanted to write about today on teen parenting so I got involved. Because I live in San Francisco the conversation is always about agreement on how amazing President Obama is and how President Bush destroyed the country.

I was reading earlier in the day, Attorney General Eric Holder pardoned those men, who were carrying sticks outside the polling booths in Philadelphia during the elections, threatening people to vote for Obama and were caught on tape saying “this is the end for all you crackers”. These men were already arraigned and didn’t show up for court. All the justice department had to do was sentence them. AG Holder, however, pardoned them. It was the first time on record something like this has ever been done by the AGs office.

I questioned one of the guys in the coffee shop if he thought Pres. Obama was doing a great job. He, of course, said yes. I told him about the above news. He said he hadn’t heard. I asked him if it was true what happened would that make him question his faith in the president. He said, he really doesn’t care about that, and then remarked “Look at what Bush did”. I couldn’t leave it alone, at this point, so I asked him “Are facts not important to you when deciding whether you believe the president is doing well”? Continue reading Teen Parenting and Critical Thinking

I was reading an article today about a huge conference in Canada that recently took place on the subject of trends in families. The subject came up about the availability of pornographic material that is available on the internet. One of the speakers was addressing the issue of sexting. Sexting is the putting on the internet, pictures of minors naked or in sexually promiscuous poses on different sites. The speaker, who is an educator in Canada, said it was wrong but that he didn’t see anything wrong with children expressing their sensuality or sexuality. Having been a parent, a lecturer and counselor on teen parenting, I can tell you we have come a long way to creating an unstable future for our world if this is a commonly held position.

Teen parenting and toddler parenting is about creating a safe and empowering environment. In pre-internet times, it was far more reasonable to let your kids out and let them test the waters. Back then, the limit of their exposure to adult issues was determined by how far they could get on their bike or later in their car. In those times, they would come in contact with other kids who had the same limited exposure. They would test and try things but very quickly they had to be home and parents could look for change in behavior. If the change was creating negative behavior in or out of the house the parent could limit their free time. Teen parenting, now, is a different animal.

Teens, now, can Continue reading Teen Parenting: What is Okay?

Teen parenting success is based on parents being leaders. Being a leader as a parent is most difficult, especially in the blended family because our kids see our mistakes on a regular basis. Out in the world, when we are a leader, our personal foibles are not seen as openly as they are seen in the home.

In addition to our mistakes they see us in situations they often don’t fully understand. They don’t fully understand them because we don’t fully understand them either. One thing I do fully understand is that if my actions don’t reflect what my talk is then my value as a leader is diminished.

The art of teen parenting, is figuring out what to tell about our issues to our teens so it empowers them not to make the same mistakes we have made. In blended families, it is extra complicated because there are 4 parents often. When discussing personal family issues with your teens you need to share some of your weaknesses and then share with them some of the conclusions you have come to.

It is important to be strong because you need to be able to realize that some of your conclusions may not be right and to tell your teens that. The next step is to Continue reading Teen Parenting in the Blended Family: Part 3

So what happened this week? As previously discussed, relationships in the blended family or any family, is based on how big the emotional bank account is. The bank account is the accumulation of the perception of trust or enjoyment built up over time. This week I learned that my father wanted to get back in relation with me through my son. How did he know this? His step father told him this. How did the stepfather know this? Supposedly, my father told him? I haven’t spoken with my father for 8 years. Why? Let’s just leave it that my father didn’t understand or care about the emotional bank account.

Here’s an interesting issue in teen parenting. What should be done with this new information? Just so you know I am human, I will tell you my first reaction to this new revelation had nothing to do with my son. I was struggling with what this situation meant to me. I went home and discussed with my wife what took place. As usual, my wife’s take on this, was only revolving around why the step dad told my son rather than me.

I found myself alone in what was important here. To me, I discovered a long time ago that the worst thing that could happen to me and my kids would be to repeat the pattern of what happened between my father and me. To me, family is everything. I have told my kids this, and besides my divorce from their mother, here was me not talking to my father.

What I realized was Continue reading Teen Parenting in the Blended Family: Part 2

Interesting thing happened this week. I recently moved back to my favorite city, San Francisco. Now that my two oldest teens, in our blended family, are finally off to college, my wife and I have decided to move closer to our other two kids. Now that I get to see our other kids much more often, unknown things have come to the surface. I have found teen parenting is an ongoing journey of discovery, whether in a blended family or not.

The first thing I have discovered, on this new journey, is the complexity of reintegrating myself into their regular life. Some of it is great and some of it is also great. Now I get calls at any time of the day to see if I can pick my son up. Very important point about teen parenting and blended families is to cherish any time with your children, even if it is just picking them up. Any opportunity you have with them is gold. Make the most of it. Engage them in questions about their life, your life, life in general. Joke with them. Encourage them to get used to conversing with you about anything. You need to understand teen parenting is a Continue reading Teen Parenting in the Blended Family